We are a Community of Faith
One of the cultural assumptions often accepted by a congregation is that the pastor is responsible for the success or failure of a congregation. Further, we assume that as the leader of the congregation, that person is immune to abuse and insulting behavior. What would happen if members became aware that clergy are humans subject to abuse as well.
I’ve tried to come up with ten possible ways that either leaders or members of a congregation can abuse their pastors. I hope you will avoid these.
1. Reinforce bad work habits by praising the pastor for working 70 hour weeks.
Frequently a pastor will work long hours, but a congregation should not encourage it.
2. Governing Board Does Not Express Concern for Pastor for Not Taking Care of Self.
By simply raising the issue on a frequent basis, the pastor feels supported in being a good steward of self and more conscious of how s/he does it.
3. Refusing to Call Members to Account for Disruptive Behavior
The temptation is to assume that the pastor should handle these issues rather than demonstrating that this is a community issue. A couple of negative members can seriously harm the total community. A pastor needs to feel the support of the board in responding to such behavior and restoring health to the community.
4. Holding the Pastor Responsible for Budget Deficits and Membership Decline.
The pastor is in an influential figure in these areas but not the sole person responsible. How much more powerful for the board to accept the issue as a corporate issue around which they all have influence and begin to think together how they might address the issue. The pastor should never feel alone in responding to such issues.
5. Not Recognizing the Pastor’s Personal Grief At Times of Tragedy or Death.
A congregation looks to the pastor for guidance and comfort at such times but they need to recognize that even as s/he leads, s/he also experiences personal grief and pain.
6. Not Insisting the Pastor Keeps Personal Spiritual Nurture a Priority.
The Bible frequently uses the same word for spirit and for breath. Using that analogy, think of what happens when a person only breathes out. For a pastor to guide the congregation in their spiritual development, s/he needs to take regular time to breathe in as well as breathe out.
7. Letting the Pastor Handle Church and Denominational Conflicts Alone.
Regardless of the issue that is stressing the community of faith, it is an opportunity for the leadership of the congregation to show solidarity. Pastors need to know at such times that s/he is not alone but that the entire leadership is working together to seek reconciliation. And the first emphasis should be on the reconciliation of the community rather than winners and losers. However, reconciliation is not achieved by diluting the faith to its lowest common denominator. Be faithful and care about people.
8. Obsessing About Not Making Any of the Members Uncomfortable.
The very nature of the Gospel is that it challenges the status quo of our society. Not only is our society sin filled but someone is benefits from that sin. For the Gospel to be authentically proclaimed, people are going to feel uncomfortable from time to time. If the emphasis of the leadership is on the fear of upsetting someone, effective disciple making will not occur.
9. Not Recognizing the Pressure of Good Ministry on the Pastor’s Family.
Caring, compassionate ministry is demanding and exhausting. Frequently a pastor has to make a choice between attending to a need and being present to the family. Not all vacations, for example, need to be disrupted but occasionally they do. Days off should be honored but occasionally they have to be sacrificed. Public figures often receive criticism that can feel very painful for the family members. Expectations even for family behavior of a pastor can feel overbearing. How does the leadership guide the congregation in appreciating these pressures on the family?
10. So What Would You Place Here as Number 10?
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