A SHARED REALITY
This first meeting of your exploratory company of pastors is critical. It is important to establish some unique aspects of being a pastor that are shared by clergy across a large spectrum from large church to small church, conservative to liberal, male and female, young and old. What is it that you all share as pastors?
After all have arrived and been welcomed. You might begin by asking each person to introduce themselves, share a brief statement about their particular ministry, and then to ask each person to complete this statement. Regardless of our differences, one thing that each of us share as pastors is …..”
It is important from the beginning that all are asked to share. You do not want a group in which two or three dominate the conversation. After you have heard each person share their statement, you may find it important for the group to discuss what they have heard.
A GENUINE COMMUNITY OF TRUST
The leader might then share that s/he has been asked to convene the group to explore the viability of participating in a “company of pastors.” The group will be asked to reflect together on how it might affect each of their ministries if they regularly met with a small group of pastors whom they could trust and who genuinely cared about each of them and their ministries. With that in mind, the group is asked to enter into ten minutes of silent prayer reflecting on that question. At the end of that time, each will be asked to share two statements of the benefit of such an experience and one possible barrier they would need to overcome if that were to be a reality.
HOW WE BEGIN
Your proposal is to begin with a commitment to meeting together once a month with a variety of experiences designed to build trust and encourage mutual support in our respective ministries. At least initially, the gatherings will include food, be in an informal setting, offer a variety of possibilities for sharing, and recognize the commonality that we share as clergy.
Ask each of them to share their initial response to such a proposal. Would they be willing to commit to six meetings, once a month, and then decide on their future as a group? Ask if they are willing to pray about the possibility for a week and then communicate their decision.
A POLE OF PRESBYTERY EXECUTIVES
As a conclusion, share with them that a recent pole of presbytery executives resulted in a consensus that one of the great challenges for contemporary pastors was the issue of isolation and loneliness. All of those who agree to the next meeting will be sent a document examining the unique forms of loneliness that pastors experience. This will be the basis of the discussion at the next meeting.
Identify with them a potential time and place for those who agree to become part of this company of pastors.
Building Wellness Among Pastoral Leaders
Hello Stephen,
I appreciate the encouragement you offer to our pastoral leaders. Participating in a trusted small group like the Company of Pastors can add a great deal of value to the participants and their network of relationships outside the group. We have several such groups and I offer similar guidance serving as pastor to Newark Presbytery in my role as General Presbyter. Pastors, like all leaders, need clarity about their whole life-mission (which is not a substitute or the same as their professional or their church’s mission). Disconnects in pastor’s lives, ministry disengagement with their communities, lack of access to learning resources, feelings of inadequacy in mission, financial and other stressors, can be overwhelming without effective coping mechanisms and healthy group experiences.
However, when groups are little more than a cohort of wounded, impaired and unhealthy leaders, without outside intervention or supervision, they can unintentionally normalize what is better understood to be impaired functioning. I have observed unhealthy pastor groups that only seem validate the isolated, impaired, behaviors of already unhealthy pastors, in the name of sharing and support. Yes, its is support, but sadly it is often only supporting the unhealthy functioning. Its the best they can do. We have tried to address this by providing professional, licensed professional counselors, to convene these conversational groups so that the groups of pastors do not unintentionally reinforce what is already not working and make matters worse.
Pastoral leaders benefit when a nurturing and safe environment of a healthy group can re-normalize their life experience and improve healthy functioning, build a sense of integration, and increase their capacity for practices of wellness and effectiveness in their life mission. Authentic congregational ministry is dependent on healthy, competent, and effective pastoral leaders.
I am interested in learning more about your reference to a “recent pole of presbytery executives.” Would you source that for me?
Thank you, again, for your post and years of ministry to the church. I have benefited from your writing and this blog’s contribution to healthy leadership development is needed and appreciated.
Sincerely,
Kevin
Rev. Dr. Kevin Yoho,
Newark Presbytery, General Presbyter
Association of Mid Council Leaders, Steering committee
Presbyterian Mission Agency, PC(U.S.A.),Board member