Feelings are very mercurial. At one moment they are up and another time they are down. Sometimes we can attribute such feelings to an incident or experience and at other times feelings seem to come out of nowhere. If you have ever tried to capture a piece of mercury, you know what an apt metaphor it is for our ability to grasp our feelings. It has always amazed me, as a pastor, to recognize how rapidly my feelings could change.
One of the gifts we have been given to help us navigate the roller-coaster emotional ride of our profession, is the gift of Scripture. Sadly, because we are so accustomed to using Scripture in our various professional roles, we often don’t allow ourself to be addressed by Scripture personally. As I mentioned yesterday, the Psalms can be an important gift from God in addressing your life experiences.
The psalms are meant to be a framework for teaching us how to pray. They are not meant to be a straightjacket. I would encourage you to take a psalm and paraphrase it as a personal address in your present situation. Personalize it by putting your name in place of the pronoun. Rephrase it within the framework provided. Give yourself permission to express some of the harsh feelings that the psalms articulate. Notice how most of the psalms of lament begin with blunt words of anger, hurt, or despair but end in praise. Hear yourself giving voice to that same continuum.
This is not for a scholarly article or a public sermon, so give yourself the freedom to play with a number of possibilities and note how it feels to be personally addressed by these ancient but very modern prayers.
