You can do the exercise I’m suggesting by yourself, with your spouse, or with the entire family. It will be different in each setting but each can have their value.
Make a list of five to 10 jobs and/or professions that could be your work in life. Knowing your personality (and that of your family), explore the “What if” of each of those being the way you made your living. Under each job title, make a list of 5-7 advantages and 5-7 disadvantages both for you and your family in that situation. Take some time and push below the surface in naming these positive and negative aspects of each position. Include any emotional or spiritual impacts as well.
Once that homework has been completed and shared, then each person in the discussion should bring their perspective to bear on what it is like to have a family member as clergy. Again, make a list of 5-7 positive and negative aspects of the ministry. As you share, remember that we are asking for each person’s perspective. Receive the comments and don’t debate them. Do share any surprises that you experience as you listen to each other.
The ministry has some tremendous challenges but also some significant satisfactions. Once you have recognized them both, you might begin to strategize together on how you can either minimize the negatives or compensate for them. Now you are building a family alliance that fully recognizes the challenges of ministry but also its significance.
