Being part of a minister’s family is different from being in other families. Not only are you in a 24 hour fish bowl, but people act differently towards you when they know your father or mother is a pastor. I think a presbytery could make a healthy contribution towards family health by holding a retreat for the teenagers of pastors. It could be a one day retreat or a weekend retreat but it would be designed to allow them to explore both their positive and negative feelings among others in a similar situation.
Let me suggest a possible agenda for such an event. First, you begin with food as people arrive. Then you welcome them and briefly explain that we will spend time exploring the various advantages and disadvantages of being a PK. You might then ask people to speak out a single word or short phrase that describes what it is like being a PK.
Then move to a values clarification exercise. Have a long strip down the middle of the room with numbers 1-5 reaching out each way from the center of the strip. Tell the group to place themselves along the strip in the following manner. If they can share 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 advantages to being part of a pastor’s family, place themselves on a number to the right of center, and if they can share 1-5 disadvantages, put themselves on the number to the left of center. Once placed, have them share alternating between advantages and disadvantages.
Next, have them separate themselves into one of four corners of the room. One corner for people whose father has always been a full time pastor. Second corner, their mother is the pastor. third corner their parent is a second-career pastor. Fourth corner, their parent is a part time pastor. (You might find other categories.) Let each group talk among themselves about how their situation is different from the other groups. Come up with 3 – 5 differences that will then be shared.
Remix the groups into small groups of 4-6 people each. Give them skits to develop illustrating various realities of being in a pastor’s family. You can make up several different skits such as how a family handles the pastor having to interrupt a vacation, how they respond to hearing about criticism of pastor’s work, how some other teens respond to hearing that they are part of a pastor’s family, etc. After each skit is acted out, there is time for discussion.
Tomorrow some other possibilities.
