“What are you doing here, Elijah?” Remember the context of that profound question. Elijah had been working hard combating the prophets of Baal, then went through a period of despair. Perhaps we could call that “burn out.” God led him to Mt. Horeb or Mt. Sinai where Moses had received the Ten Commandments. In symbolic terms, Elijah came back to the source — both to God and the place where the community was first shaped by the commandments. Then Elijah was confronted with the “WHY” question. Once Elijah had resolved that issue, he had energy for the future.
All that is background for suggesting that when you are experiencing your own version of PTSD or burnout, you need to probe the “WHY” question. You can take the first step through writing.
For the next several days, at least 6 days, set aside at least one-half hour and write in response to the question, “Why am I in the ministry?” Don’t try to create a perfect essay. Simply start writing and keep on writing for the entire half-hour. The next day, do it again, coming at it from a different perspective. For now, don’t look back at what you have written previously. What you are doing is pushing past the surface and probing the depth of your vocation or calling. It is alright to acknowledge the obvious. I need to pay the rent. I like helping people. But also come at it from your faith perspective as well. What is your understanding of God’s role in your life?
The second step is to read all that you have written for the past six days in one sitting. Make note of common themes, patterns, surprises, etc.
The third step is to try to articulate for a friend “why you are here?” Encourage the friend to probe you and raise questions as you go along.
Fourth, if God were standing with you at Mt. Horeb, after the earthquake, the wind, and the fire, what would God say to you in the silence about what God wants of you in the future.
To paraphrase Viktor Frankle, once you have a grasp on the why, you can endure almost any how. You will discover renewed energy for the journey.
