When you boil it down to the core, many people live their lives feeling unappreciated and largely ignored. It is no accident that a central biblical tenet of the faith is to demonstrate hospitality. From Abraham at the Oak of Mamre to Jesus on the road to Emmaus, it was when hospitality was shown that divine revelation occurred. Since retirement and the opportunity to visit various churches, I have seen what is often voiced as a common criticism of churches. I was able to arrive, attend worship, and leave without anyone interacting with me except in the most superficial way. As a pastor, I know the frustration of wanting my congregation to be more open and welcoming.
It is not just visitors who feel overlooked in congregations. Members do too. Several years ago John Savage did a study of why people leave a church. One of his findings was that the first six months after they begin to absent themselves is most critical. If someone misses them and makes contact, they can often be restored. It makes a difference to them that someone thought they were valuable enough to be missed. Many members don’t leave a church but become only casually active because no one seems to be paying attention.
With everything a pastor has to do, it is easy to neglect acts of hospitality for members in small but significant ways. Many churches have created programs to counter this problem. Such programs as the Stephen’s Ministry, and practices like greeters at the door or taking bread to visitors on Sunday afternoon are significant ministries when done well. When a pastor is able to make contact at times other than when they are asking something from that member, it is a powerful action.
A simple act that can have a good effect is to just pick up the phone and give someone a call and ask how they are doing. At one large church, someone prepared the pastor a list of Sunday visitors with phone numbers that he could call either Sunday afternoon or even during the day on Monday. Often no one was at home and he left a message but the impact on visitors of a large church being called by the pastor was significant. Some pattern for calling members occasionally could also be beneficial.
