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ClergyComedy

Doctor speak

By January 3, 2012No Comments

We have a lot of people entering the ministry as a second career. In many ways this is good. They can bring a fresh perspective and additional skills to the practice of ministry. It got me to thinking about how frequently we develop our language around our profession, sort of insider language. Preachers certainly have their own language but so do other professions. One of the cautions for a second career person would be to be careful not to just transfer his language from his own profession into the practice of preaching.

For example, what if it were a doctor using doctor speak:

He begins his or her sermon the way many doctors greet their patients in their office.

Good morning my friends.

I’ve given serious consideration to your spiritual health.
My first question is whether you need a phone reminder of your weekly Sunday appointments.
It’s not good for me to walk into the examining room and find that you are not there.
I’m sorry but a weekend cabin is not a good excuse for a missed appointment.

Also, I’ve looked over the congregational chart and the tests we’ve run.
Your arteries through which generosity flows seems to have narrowed.
Your obesity chart suggests the need of a better diet of sharing with your neighbor.
And your heart rate would indicate a need for more exercise – particularly some deep knee bending exercises.

If you will follow this prescription and come back for your next appointment a week from now, I’m sure you will begin to feel better.

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