Most pastors would agree that there is a strong degree of loneliness in their profession. I have tried to construct an exercise that would allow a session to discuss this issue. In some ways, it is simply the cost of being a pastor, but if you are aware of it, there are some things that both the pastor and the session can do to ameliorate the pressures of the profession.
An Examination of Loneliness
By Stephen McCutchan
A major challenge for quality pastors is how to handle the loneliness inherent in the pastorate. Below are ten reasons why a pastor might experience loneliness. Look at your church and pick out the top four reasons most applicable for a pastor at your church.
1. The pastor is entrusted with painful secrets of members for which there are no easy answers, but s/he can’t share it with anyone else?
2. The pastor believes success requires paying too much attention to people’s immediate desires and not enough to their profound needs.
3. The pastor feels torn between his or her family who wants more attention and the multiple expectations of the congregation.
4. The governing body of the church is reluctant to intervene in conflicts between the pastor and prominent members and expects the pastor to cope on his or her own.
5. The minister is working long hours trying to meet the needs of the congregation and hears more complaints than appreciation for his or her efforts.
6. The routine daily responsibilities blur the vision s/he once had of God’s call to ministry.
7. The pastor has many acquaintances but few close friends because there are things that can’t be shared or revealed to church members and there is not enough time after the pastor’s work days to nurture friendships outside of the church.
8. The Gospel calls the pastor to boldness, but the pastor feels paralyzed by fear of rejection by members of the congregation.
9. The pastor feels judged by public images of religious hypocrisies and embarrassing church scandals.
10. The pastor has unrealistic expectations of what a pastor should accomplish.
(Note, other professions have some of the same pressures but your focus is on how to support your pastor) If your pastor also does the exercise, compare what s/he has identified with the consensus of the session.
While you can’t eliminate the pressures, you can brainstorm ways to provide antidotes to the pressures identified.
