In some ways, the better pastor you are, the more you may feel a sense of loneliness. The problem is you can’t just go to a session or congregation and say, “I feel very lonely,” and they can change that. However, there are things that you can do and the session can support that will at least reduce the negative effects of that loneliness. Let me suggest a few but I would like to hear of some of the ways that others have found that are useful.
First, a good pastor needs to have either a confidant or a spiritual director that they meet with regularly. This is a person that they can process their feelings with without fear of violating confidentiality or being betrayed by loose tongues.
Second, at a less in-depth level, a pastor should find some other pastors with whom they can both talk shop and have fun with. This small group of pastors needs to deliberately plan occasional fun experiences as well as be available to process experiences of ministry.
Third, a session needs to occasionally set aside some time to both verbally recognize where the pastor is doing well but also to celebrate what is going well at the church. This can be good for both the pastor and the church. It is nice to recognize that your efforts are paying off. In another blog, I will explore a possible liturgical way that this can be done.
Fourth. the session could occasionally set aside some time to ask the pastor and then discuss what s/he thinks are the biggest spiritual needs of the congregation and its members.
Fifth, the congregation could offer the pastor’s family a fun experience as an appreciation for their support of the pastor’s work at the church.
Sixth, humor can be healthy for the whole congregation. A night to roast both the congregation and the pastor might have a healthy effect.
There are undoubtedly many other ways and to decrease the loneliness of the pastorate can have a healthy effect on the whole congregation.
