I think I have shared an earlier version of this exercise before, but here is an updated version.
An Examination of Loneliness
steve@smccutchan.com
A major challenge for quality pastors is how to handle the loneliness inherent in the pastorate. Below are ten reasons why a pastor might experience loneliness. Pick out the top four reasons most applicable for a pastor in your church.
1. The pastor is entrusted with painful secrets of members for which there are no easy answers, but s/he can’t share these secrets with anyone else?
2. The pastor believes success requires paying too much attention to people’s immediate desires and not enough to their profound needs.
3. The pastor feels torn between his or her family’s needs and the multiple needs of the congregation.
4. The governing body of the church is reluctant to intervene in conflicts between the pastor and prominent members and expects the pastor to cope on his or her own.
5. The pastor hears more complaints than appreciation for his or her efforts.
6. The routine daily responsibilities blur the vision s/he once had of God’s call to ministry.
7. The pastor has many acquaintances but few close friends because the demands of the profession don’t allow enough time to nurture friendships outside of the church.
8. The Gospel calls the pastor to boldness, but the pastor feels paralyzed by fear of discord in the congregation.
9. The pastor feels judged by public images of religious hypocrisies and embarrassing church scandals.
10. The pastor has unrealistic expectations of what a pastor should accomplish.
Write about three sentences about each of the points you have identified and how each might result in loneliness for the pastor.
While you can’t eliminate the pressures, you can brainstorm with the session and the pastor ways to provide antidotes to the pressures identified.
As a pastor, you can identify those reasons for loneliness that are most relevant for you or you can have your session or personnel committee try to take the exercise themselves and then discuss it with you.
