I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED
In other parts of my forthcoming book, I will share how humor can play a role in various practices of ministry such as worship, counseling, committee meetings, etc. Here, I want to focus on practical ways a pastor can draw upon humor in contending with the stresses and challenges in his or her personal life. I will focus on how to make use of humor to reduce one’s own stress, how to make use of humor to de-escalate conflict, and how to use humor in relationships with both laypeople and clergy colleagues.
A HEALTHY SOUL
An underlying principle is that our soul is healthiest when we don’t take ourselves too seriously. Or, another way to say that is that occasionally we need to remind ourselves that we are not the savior of the world, our church, an individual, or even ourselves. As Judy Carter says, when you can turn your problems into punch lines, you ease the stress in your life.
A very important quote from her book, The Message of You, is “When someone can laugh at a problem, it tends to make The Problem seem smaller in size and more manageable. Once someone can laugh at a problem, they feel they have more power over it and it doesn’t dominate their lives.” (P 237)
TICKLE THE FUNNY BONE
There are some basic techniques of humor that clergy can apply that can trigger humor in light of the craziness of the situation in which we find ourselves. Sometimes that can be as simple as a mental exercise that makes use of heavy satire & even cynicism that you might not speak aloud but helps you internally.
I will provide you with some exercises to practice on later, but let me give you an example.
Making use of the comedic technique of Lists of Three, Exaggeration, and Reversals, consider the following. You have just been through a mind-numbing meeting about whether to renovate the church parlor and listened to two people who felt your associate wasn’t sensitive to their frustrations with the youth program. You walk to your office mumbling “I’ve been to three years of graduate studies. I’ve learned to exegete a biblical text that was written over three thousand years ago, and my secretary is upset that she can’t have an extra day off during holy week. What exactly was this world saving ministry to which you called me, God?”
ANOTHER STEWARDSHIP CAMPAIGN
Or consider making use of your biblical knowledge, an overused joke, and some cynicism. “I know Jesus says it is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. I also know that a camel is a horse designed by a committee. What I want to know is how the stewardship committee can design expandable needle eyes for our rich members this year?”
SHARED HUMOR BUILDS BONDS
Internal humor is meant to release frustration and regain perspective on your life and your situation. However, shared humor has the additional benefit of building supportive relationships. When you come up with something funny and people laugh, it feels good. If your humorous comment gives voice to a frustrating situation that others also experience, a community of understanding is formed. You don’t feel as lonely anymore.
In the next blog, I will share a design for an experiment that you can implement to explore the value of humor with a couple of chosen colleagues.
This will all be part of the Presbytery Pastoral Care Network’s annual conference October 27-30 in Fort Worth Texas. For more information go to www.pastoralcarenetwork.org The theme is Rediscovering the Beloved Community: Overcoming Isolation. You might want to consider it.
