IDEAS VERSUS RELATIONSHIPS
One of the hesitancies about speaking to people outside the church about faith is that we fear that we don’t have the answers or what is an answer for us might not be an answer for others. While the faith is explained by doctrines, it is important to remember that the core of the faith is based on relationships rather than ideas. The disciples were drawn to Jesus as a person even when they didn’t understand the thoughts that he was sharing.
If you want to share the Gospel, it begins by learning to listen to others and hearing the questions and struggles that they are experiencing. Think about the number of casual conversations that you have had with others in the past couple of months that, however obliquely, were asking spiritual questions about the meaning of life, how to cope with evil, where to seek hope and healing, what to believe and how to discover truth.
CASUAL CONVERSATIONS
It might be at a PTA meeting where parents are sharing their anxiety about how to raise their children. During a coffee break where colleagues at work were commenting on an ethical problem. It might be at a sports club when you were drying off from some vigorous exercises and your shower mate informs you that s/he has just lost her job due to the downsizing at the company. Or a family member might mention at the dinner table areas that were causing stress. It may even be with a visitor at the coffee hour in your church.
The first mistake is to think that you have to be able to provide a clear answer before you have anything to share. Most times people don’t expect you to have a ready answer. What almost all of us need in such situations is to find someone who is willing to listen. When someone will take the time to really listen, that, in and of itself, is unexpected Good News.
CHURCH AS COMMUNITY
If it seems appropriate, you may want to ask if they have a church that can be supportive in their search for answers. If they resist that possibility, your role is not to defend the church. You might share with them how the church has helped you in the past, but also affirm that your primary concern is their problem. If you do that with sincerity, there may come another opportunity to explore the church as a resource. Christ’s concern always began with the person and their needs.
In the next blog, I will explore how the language of the church can offer an alternative perspective.
