When you are listening to another person intensely while they are sharing their pain, it is natural that your own body begins to tense up. However, many people aren’t even aware of this growing tenseness as they lean into the pain of another. A first strategy is to develop the habit of being conscious of your own body and deliberately learning some relaxation techniques that you can implement even as you continue to listen. This is particularly important for a pastor who will often move from one tense situation to another in order to counter the cumulative build up of tension in your body.
You are not being insensitive — in fact it may allow you to be more sensitive — if you can internally relax your body as you engage with a person in pain. The same is true when the interaction is negative, such as a person expressing anger at you. If you can consciously relax as you are hearing that person’s anger, you will be better prepared to respond in a healthy manner.
Your ability to do this while you are active in a stressful meeting, conducting worship, or teaching a class will help you maintain a better focus and allow you to experience less exhaustion.
Frequently long after the emotion draining moment, you will also find yourself reliving the experience. Again, be aware of your body tensing up, and consciously relax it. When you are not with the person or activity that is tensing you, there are some more overt ways that you can relax — stretching and breathing exercises, walking, running, exercise machines, etc. The regular engaging in such activities is an important aspect of maintaining the antibodies to stress in your life.
While you are engaged, however, you also need to experiment with certain breathing techniques, lowering the shoulders, loosening your hand and arms, etc. and even imagining your muscles relaxing that can help you.
Being conscious of your body is a first step in handling the stress of your ministry.
