BEGINNING A PASTOR/PARISH RELATIONSHIP IN AN ANXIOUS AGE

BEFORE THE BEGINNING

Consider what happens before the new pastor arrives at a congregation. Let me describe some of the events as if it was your congregation. This can always be shared with the Pastor’s Search Committee or the Session of that church.

The pastor search committee has completed its assignment. They have met countless times, read 15 to 100 resumes, done phone or skype interviews with the most promising candidates, then visited a few and invited the top candidates to visit them. From the final three or four, they make their choice, make an offer, negotiate details, find their candidate acceptable by presbytery, and prepare their presentation for the congregation.

At the congregational meeting they share a narrative of the process they have been through, provide an information package on their choice for the new pastor, answer questions, and take a vote. With a successful vote you call the now newly elected pastor and negotiate the various details of the move and the time when s/he will officially begin as your new pastor.

Now you wait, full of expectations and not a little nervous about how it will all turn out. It’s like dating, courting, becoming engaged, and having the wedding ceremony. Along with the myriad of unarticulated expectations comes also some anxiety. Have we made the right decision? How will the future of our relationship turn out?

EDUCATING A CONGREGATION

Before the pastor arrives, the session can engage the congregation in the following exercise. Invite as many people as you can to a congregational meal. While it is nice if you can involve the whole congregation later, this first meeting needs to be as a community so that they can hear each other.

1. Share with them the picture of the congregation that was shared with the pastor. This is what the new pastor expects to see upon arrival.
2. Share committee’s decision making process about how they came to their decision. In light of the  picture of the congregation that they presented, what were the qualities they were looking for to minister in that congregation.
3. Share all appropriate information about the pastor and his or her family if there is one. Remind them of the time line for moving into the community and assuming responsibility as a pastor.
4. Then ask each of them to take a piece of paper and write five statements: “What do you hope the new pastor will be able to say about the congregation five years from now?” You are reminding them that the congregation has some responsibility as well.
5. Have them share with each other in small groups and select one or two of the statements to share with the whole group. Come up with a list of at least ten top statements about what they hope the pastor will be able to say about them after being with them for five years.
6. Now invite individuals to write five more statements: “How will the members and the congregation have to behave if their original expectations are to become a reality?”
7. After these statements have been shared, ask each person to privately consider “What do I personally need to do to help our hope as a congregation become a reality?”
8. Lift it all up to God in prayer.
9. Share these reflections with the larger congregation and ask them to consider these same questions for themselves in preparation for receiving their new pastor.

BEGIN AT THE BEGINNING

It’s a BEGINNING BEFORE THE BEGINNING that may well contribute to a healthier relationship between pastor and congregation. It would be interesting for the new pastor to respond to parallel questions. “What do I hope this congregation will think about my ministry five years from now? and “What actions do I need to begin taking so that this will be a reality?“

HEALTHY MINISTRY BEGINS BY BEING CLEAR ABOUT HOPES AND EXPECTATION.