YOU ARE NOT IN THIS ALONE
Because we are the spiritual leaders of a faith that emphasizes relationships above all else, this may seem ironic. However, as you recognize, the very nature of the pastorate tempts us to the “Lone Ranger” mentality. So I want to remind you that both theologically and psychologically, you are not alone. You are called by God and you are called to community. For Christians, the other clergy are brothers and sisters in Christ. We need to strengthen that set of relationships.
YOU ARE NOT THE EXCEPTION
One of the great mistakes people in high pressure positions make, is to assume that given their burdens, they are the exception to the rule. Drugs, alcohol, fast foods, lack of exercise can all destroy you no matter how noble and deserving of a break you are. If you were counseling another person bearing a heavy burden or immersed in grief, you encourage them to seek outside help. As a pastor, it is important that you not try to either deaden the feelings or bear it all alone.
WHAT ARE THE SIGNALS?
Below are listed several possible negative signs or signals in the life of clergy. These signs are divided into categories. Different clergy will give off different signals. Identify the top five that you have noticed in yourself or other clergy with whom you are acquainted.
PHYSICAL
- Loss of energy
- Depression
- Suicide
- Obesity, diabetes, and other health problems
- Rise in number of heart attacks
FAMILY
- Family tensions involving children
- Marital discord and divorce
BOUNDARY ISSUES
- Sexual misconduct
- Interest in pornography
- Inappropriate use of websites
EMOTIONAL
- Resistance to seeking spiritual or emotional counseling
- Low emotional tolerance that leads to conflict
- Conflict between pastor and congregation
- Conflict between clergy and his/her denomination
- Attracted by bizarre theological ideas and groups
PROFESSIONAL
- Decrease in skills in pastoral care to congregation
- Lower quality of sermons and liturgy
- Loss of joy in pastorate
- Leaving the pastoral ministry
- Other ________________
Examine the five areas that you have chosen. How are they exacerbated by not being able to process what is happening with people a pastor can trust? Consider how a healthy colleagueship with other clergy can ameliorate the impact of the problem?
Considered reaching out to some clergy, maybe some you don’t know very well, and seeing what a lunch invitation might generate?
