Over the years of a long professional career, it is easy to build up a crust of protective cynicism. In many ways, you see the underbelly of the life of the church. As a pastor you experience lots of disappointments, experiences of being betrayed, the hypocrisy of the pious, the apathy of members, etc. You are the lightening rod for people’s own struggles with their lives and their faith. Like Moses coming down from the mountain top, you once had a close connection with the Divine but now you are overwhelmed with the sins of the people. One of the ways that some pastors protect themselves is building up that crust of cynicism.
In retirement, it is easy to turn your back on the church and walk away. I’ve talked with some pastors who were outwardly very successful in their career but who, upon retirement, chose to absent themselves from the church altogether. While I understand their pain, I find it profoundly sad that they respond in this way. Even if you are not at that low level, undoubtedly in retirement you experience some of the after shocks of a rough journey. I think there is value in striving to reconnect with the one who has called you and cleanse yourself of lingering cynicism.
A first step would be to “name” some of your more difficult experiences in the pastorate. Whether in a notebook or on a computer, take some time to reflect back over your journey as a pastor and identify with a brief description, some of the more painful events, people, and times during your pastorate.
Tomorrow we will look at what to do with them.
