One of the sadder realities of the change in ministry is the necessity of reviewing our boundaries with respect to youth. Youth may be even more in need of the comfort of human touch than adults are. However, it is also true that they are more vulnerable. You can see the hunger of teenagers expressed in the ease with which they give and receive hugs and engage in other forms of touching.
Again, as mentioned yesterday, the public rule is one step in establishing boundaries. Don’t act towards a teenager in a way that you would not be comfortable being seen doing in public. However, with teenagers, it is even more important that you be careful that they not misinterpret any gesture on the part of a clergy. The inclination towards heroe worship can lead to some unintended consequences. It is normally recommended now that an adult youth leader not go off alone with a youth. The sad part of that is that there are times that a young person desperately needs to talk privately to an adult. With a little planning, that can still be done within full view of others but still keeping the conversation private.
Another aspect of this whole issue is that by your awareness of the issues surrounding interpersonal relationships, particularly given the public church scandals of recent times, your very decision may also help educate young people as to what is appropriate and what is not. Helping young people understand that for their own protection certain situations are not appropriate not only conveys your concern for them but also helps them become aware of what might be inappropriate with other adults. Unfortunately you as a clergy may be as trustworthy as can be but our youth are increasingly confronted by potential predators in our society.
Securing the services of someone familiar with how to manage appropriate boundaries with adults might be an important program for youth groups. However, if you were going to have such a program, it would be important to work with the invited leader to design the program in a way that would effectively speak to the youth.
The fact that we have to be so concerned with this issue may be sad but it also can provide a teachable moment that can benefit our youth.
