As a basis for this reflection, let me tie together two separate passages. The first is from Genesis 2:18, “Then the Lord god said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone;'” This passage at the beginning of the Bible reflects the foundational need of humanity for community. We were meant for relationships. The first sin recorded in Scripture was a breaking of that essential relationship, first with God and then with neighbor. Now, relate that passage to Paul’s statement about Jesus in 2 Corinthians 5:21, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” Christ took on the burden of our brokenness that he might reconcile us to God and each other. A rather simple translation of righteousness is restoring us to right relationship.
At another point, when asked to sum up the essence of the faith, Jesus identified the two essential commandments that focus on relationships — love of God and love of neighbor. As any pastor knows, when you reach out in community to one who experiences the sin or brokenness of community, you take on those feelings in your own being. Christ took on the sin, or brokenness of community of the whole world. Pastors do the same for their congregants and often others.
The first part of a pastor’s coping with that loneliness, is acknowledging its reality as part of the nature of his or her own calling. You do not defeat that loneliness by drugs, alcohol, sexual experiences, etc. In fact the danger is that some pastors try to escape that burden through such destructive behavior. Others seek to dull the pain by separating themselves from what they are feeling with the result that they lose the capacity to feel any feelings at all.
One of the great values of having a spiritual director is that that person can help you re-engage in feeling those feelings and place them in a spiritual context. You are reconnecting with community in a way that doesn’t violate confidentiality. Its a first step but a very valuable one. We will consider others tomorrow.
