The second area that I suggested may be a factor in clergy dropping out of the profession is the sheer stress of meeting the expectations of others and even of yourself as you pursue the ministry. In October of 2012, the Presbytery Pastoral Care Network will have as its theme for their annual conference how to cope with Compassion Fatigue. Much of the curriculum for this conference has been developed by the Presbyterian Disaster Assistance (PDA) program. They offer some valuable insights in how to cope and renew yourself in the midst of experiences that can drain you of all of your energy. I will try to draw on some of their suggestions in the next few days.
First, however, I want to focus on the role of expectations. I want to look at this from two different aspects. Any pastor has to contend with the multiple expectations held by members, community, and hierarchy within the church. At the same time, they face a set of often unexamined expectations that they hold themselves. These can sometimes be the most difficult. We will look at both areas.
Begin with the expectations of others. As a quick exercise, make three lists. If you were to identify what you think the members of the congregation expect from their minister, what would they be? Next make a list of some of the expectations that you think the larger community holds for clergy. Some of them will parallel those of the congregation but some may differ. For example, the community may expect you to be ready to participate in certain public events. Through the media, they may also expect you to comment on certain ethical issues in the community. When you have completed that list, make a third list of what the denominational hierarchy expects from you.
As you make these lists, you may find yourself moving back and forth among your three lists as one stimulates a thought in the other. Don’t censor yourself. It is all right to even exaggerate a little as you make your list. You can be more reasonable later. For now, get it down on paper. We will look at what to do with these next week.
