Most clergy are committed to their calling and recognize that it is going to include long hours and modest salary and an often stressful environment. Sometimes the stress does come from negative conditions, but the multiple dimensions of ministry are stressful even in the best of times. Pastoral ministry is not an easy calling and the better you are at it, the more emotionally and physically draining it can be. The very nature of ministry in our culture suggests that there are times when you are going to wonder if anyone realizes and appreciates the efforts that you are making. Learning how to cope with those feelings and not allow them to devolve into self-pity, anger, or bitterness is an important task.
A first step is to refuse to deny those feelings when they emerge. While it is not beneficial to go around complaining to everyone about how you are not appreciated, it is healthy to accept that such feelings are part of your emotional journey as a minister.
For some people, it is useful to keep a journal about how you are feeling. For others, a spiritual director is helpful in processing such feelings. In either case, you are trying to own your own feelings but move through them to a beneficial result. Occasionally in ministry I was able to verbalize in prayer that such an action was an offering to God. For example, when I visited an Alzheimer patient or helped a hobo on the street, I could accompany it with a prayer, “This is for you God, certainly no one else is going to give me credit.” At first that might seem almost juvenile, and yet over time I began to experience some satisfaction from having some ministry be seen as an offering to God.
Another strategy that was helpful to me was to deliberately transform my feelings of under-appreciation by others into a sensitivity to being more appreciative of others. My own feelings of deficit became a positive impetus towards expressing appreciation to others, who in turn affirmed my kindness to them. The result was that I felt better as well.
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