Several lessons in experiencing and expressing appreciation are:
It is best if it is specific and not general. It is not as beneficial to hear “thanks for your ministry” as it is “thanks for visiting me in the hospital, it meant a lot.”
It is best if it is spontaneous rather than part of routine expectation. Pastor’s appreciation month can be a valuable reminder of the importance of expressing appreciation, but spontaneous recognition is better. I once was involved in some stressful dynamics of a wedding of a prominent and not always supportive family in the church. Another member came up and said, “I know you will be glad when this one is over. It can’t be easy.” It helped to know that someone else knew what I was going through.
Small tokens can carry powerful messages. Recently my wife received a gift certificate to a restaurant with a note of thanks for her support in helping a person conduct a successful church program. It was unexpected and therefore was powerful.
A public affirmation can nurture the spirit. I was in a conversation with a group of people from my church and a member of the group told the rest of them how important it had been when I showed up very early in the morning before he was to have an operation at a hospital. I knew he was grateful but the public affirmation made it even stronger.
Looking for opportunities to express appreciation to others for their ministry, both lay members and other clergy, can nurture your own soul and it often creates a culture of appreciation that touches many others. My own recognition of the power of appreciation resulted from recognizing how I was affected when someone appreciated me.
