In the last blog, I suggested that each member of the governing board identify anonymously on a 3 x 5 card two or three actions, rumors, behavior, attitudes present in the congregation that can have a toxic effect on the spirit of the congregation and the health of the clergy/congregational relationship. I would suggest that someone other than the pastor gather the cards and compose a common list of the items identified. My guess is that many of the same items will be identified. It should be fairly easy to identify four or five main items.
In addition to having the list to discuss, there are some additional effects for engaging in this exercise.
First, by the very nature of a church community, word will pass that the session is responding to the issue of what is toxic to the spirit of the church. My guess is that other people will take the opportunity to speak to an elder about items of which they are aware. It is even possible that this may surface something new that will be important for the session to discuss.
Second, by bringing the subject out into the light, you will reduce its toxic effect on the congregation. Some may even become more sensitive to the effects of their own behavior. As the film Betrayed: The Clergy Killer’s DNA discusses, often the one or two significant clergy killers in a congregation will seek to gather support from others. By bringing the issue of the toxic effect of such behavior out into the light, some of the less committed followers may fade away.
Third, when the pastor or pastors know that the governing board is seeking to address such situations, they feel less alone in their own struggles.
Fourth, when this issue is addressed in a responsible manner, as will be addressed in a future blog, it is an opportunity for the whole community to reflect on the nature of Christian community.
While, as we will discuss in a future blog, sometimes some direct confrontation may be necessary, but frequently engaging in an adult conversation about how we want to behave as a congregation can have its own positive effect. By simply raising the issue of how our behavior affects the whole congregation, people who haven’t thought about it will have their consciousness raised.
