Over my years of ministry, I can clearly remember when someone in the congregation recognized a particularly difficult time for me and expressed appreciation for my efforts. I remember a time at a church picnic where some members presented my wife a plaque expressing their thanks for her support in my ministry. It has caused me to think about the power of a church occasionally speaking to members of my family in appreciation for the small sacrifices they have to make in support of my being effective in ministry.
Usually the session or particular committees are aware of when the pressure is really on a pastor. Sometimes it is due to a series of funerals, weddings, etc. Sometimes it is because of a big church project. Sometimes the conflicts around difficult decisions build up. Imagine the effect of the children or youth of a pastor’s family receiving a brief note of thanks for the extra efforts they have to make in support of the pastor. This would be especially true if some church emergency caused the pastor to have to cut short a vacation or miss a school event. A small gift certificate for some ice cream or a music download would both recognize the sacrifice and provide them a treat.
The challenge is to not have this become an expected institutional response, but a response of a sensitive church to the demanding life of a pastor. A little appreciation can go a long way towards building healthy relationships.