One of the unavoidable demands of ministry is the time that is required when a pastor is engaged in conducting either a funeral or a wedding. The funeral comes at totally unexpected times and while the wedding is scheduled, it still means that the pastor is often engaged in both a Friday rehearsal and a major portion of Saturday. Both require silent sacrifices by members of the pastor’s family. If it doesn’t interrupt planned time together, it crowds the schedule so that other time to complete normal activities must be made. In either case, such events cut into family time.
It is a small suggestion but I wonder if you could alter the family’s perception of such events as something they could look forward to with anticipation. What if the family knew that when the “honorarium” for the pastor’s efforts was offered, it would be put in a special “family fund” to pay for a fun family experience. Then, even though they needed to make a sacrifice, they could look forward to being able to have a future fun experience.
Depending on the frequency of such honorariums, and if it seemed too self-indulgent to always spend it on the family. The family could agree that a certain percentage of the fund would be contributed to a good cause that the whole family chose. The family gathering to make such decisions could have its own benefit.
Either or both such decisions could have a healthy effect on what often can become a negative experience for the family.