There is another aspect to our emotional health that is important. We need to have some honest talk and preparation about the unknown future for us physically.
In many ways, I have been very fortunate with respect to my own health but I am not naive about the fact that that can change in an instant. There are three people, groups, to that truth that needs to be addressed. I need to think about how to prepare myself for that eventuality, my spouse, and my children. It is towards that end that my wife and I have chosen to enter a retirement community. If something should happen to either my physical health or that of my wife, in this community there are already ways in which either of us can cope and also be present to the other. While my adult children were a little surprised when we announced this to them, they quickly understood that this relieved them of some difficult decisions that they would have had to make if we had not made such plans.
It also relieved me emotionally because I knew that my wife and I would be in a position to respond well in case something happened to either of us. If we had a stroke and were physically disabled or experienced dementia, the other one would be able to be present without undue difficulties and the appropriate health care would be available to either. I have seen too many spouses run themselves ragged and be emotionally and financially stressed trying to cope with a spouse in their home or in a health care facility that meant daily travel.
In addition, we have covered all the power of attorney issues and desire for a natural death papers so that either the spouse or our children will be able to move ahead with necessary decisions. All of this is to suggest that planning ahead and in full conversation with your family members is a gift that you can give to them and relieve some anxiety about the future from you. Preparing for it doesn’t mean that it will happen but it can help those you love in case it does.
