The Pressure of Call in Marriage
It is not unusual for a pastor to sense God’s call after s/he is married or in a committed relationship. Even if the spouse knew and verbally accepted that you were going to be an ordained pastor, few people understand what it means to be part of a pastor’s family. Helping that spouse come to terms with what it means to be part of a pastor’s family can have benefits for both the spouse and the pastor.
However, in the Reformed faith, there is the concept that all of us, not just ordained clergy, have a call from God. Let each member of the couple try to articulate what that person senses is God’s call in his or her life. In the same way that pastors can feel affected by a spouse’s lack of appreciation for his or her call, so the spouse may also need support in fulfilling the call that s/he is hearing from God, only part of which is that of being a pastor’s spouse.
The second step in your conversation is to have each of you speak to how you perceive your personal call bringing pressure on the other person. Let each of you list five ways that you recognize your understanding of God’s call in your life affects your spouse. All marriages are affected by how each of us understand our purpose in life.
