Today let’s look at the family that resides in your house. Even if your family consists of you and your dog or cat, the pressures of ministry interract with your family. Even pets have to be considered when you have a late night meeting or go away on a retreat. I know of one family who mistakenly left their cat uncared for when they left for a couple of days and the cat took revenge on curtains and couches that was not pleasant to see.
When the companions of the house are human, they are even more affected by the pressures and demands of ministry. They need to know that they are important in your life and that they are not always shoved to the back of the line when the church calls. At the same time, for the practice of your ministry to be healthy, you need to know that they support you when you are responding to the needs of your congregation or area of ministry.
It would be a healthy practice to have a family conversation at least once a year reviewing how all of you are being affected by your engagement in the ministry. Perhaps that could be part of a vacation conversation. If it involves children, and it should if they are present in the home, then maybe you could even make a game out of it.
Get a pack of 3 x 5 cards and develop some probing questions to place on each of the cards. Shuffle the cards and put them as a deck on the table. When it comes to a person’s turn, they roll a die and the number that shows up determines how far down the deck they count to pull the question that they will answer. Each time a question is answered, bury the card back in the deck before the game continues.
Some sample questions might be:
1. Describe a time this past year when you were glad that you were part of this family.
2. Talk about a pressure you felt because the minister of the church is part of your family.
3. Share something that happened at the church this past year that made you proud to be part of the church.
4. Describe something that either did or would make you angry when it happend at the church.
5. Identify either a person or a situation at the church that you think the family should pray for.
6. Was there a time this past year when the congregation needed the pastor and it meant that some family experience needed to be changed? How did it make you feel?
7. Whether you are the pastor or a family member, name four things that are good about being a pastor.
8. Name four things that make being a pastor difficult.
9. If you were to pray for one thing to change in your family, what would it be?
10. What are some fun things that you like to do with the family?
Maybe you could, as a family make up 10 – 20 more questions and then also agree that people could always add more questions to the deck over time.
If you come up with some great questions, let me know so that I can add them to my deck.
