Yesterday we spoke of the private emotions that affected our spending patterns. Today I want to speak of emotions on a larger scale.
Let’s admit it. While no one ever enters the ministry with the expectation of growing rich, it is also true that none of us think that we are even remotely paid what we are worth. It is easy for us to fall into the comparison trap with other professions. How many professions that require at least a masters degree, and two languages are paid at the level of most clergy. Consider also that you are expected to be a manager of an organization, make at least a weekly public presentation, teach, and have skills in counseling, and you have quite a complex set of responsibilities. Do all that work and in the process have difficulty meeting the basic bills of living, and you have a formula for envy and resentment.
When we began, we knew that our calling required a certain amount of sacrifice, but in the process, especially if it also causes marital strain, it is hard not to feel a little sorry for ourselves. This is where we need to not only become conscious of our feelings but also bring them into conversation with our sense of call. A first step would be to compose to stream of conscious essays. Begin by writing for about 20 uncensored minutes on how you feel about your salary, the stresses that it causes in your life, and the feelings that arise when you compare what you are receiving versus other professions with considerably less demands. Again, the more honest you are when you write this, the better it will be for you. No one else has to see it.
Next, write for 20 minutes or so on your sense of call and the often unfair challenges that you know you have to confront in pursuing this call. Assume for the purpose of your essay, that God is truly asking you to make this sacrifice. Where is God in all of this. Don’t dwell on the “poor me” aspect but rather the “nobleness” of the cause toward which you are working.
If we feel like a victim, we are trapped by negative feelings. If, on the other hand, we are convicted that we are making sacrifices for a greater cause, then there is honorable purpose to what we are doing.
