I’m working on a new book that will be titled God Laughs–Why Don’t You? Exploring the use of humor to help clergy keep their sanity in a crazy world.
The primary audience for the book is the clergy who sometimes feel exhausted and need a little laugh that can refresh. Some lay people will enjoy the humor and some may be offended — sorry about that. Truth be told, some clergy may be offended as well — doubly sorry about that. However, some of us need to learn not to take ourselves so seriously. Sometimes we need to laugh at our own illusion of self-importance and trust God to work through us despite our weaknesses.
As I develop the manuscript, I will occasionally share some of the jokes I may or may not use in the completed book. If you like them, or if you don’t, I’d be glad to hear from you.
The first two involve alcohol, and I know that is not appropriate for everyone, but go ahead and enjoy what you can.
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First, God created the world and said: “It is good.”
Second, God created committees and said: “It is necessary.”
Finally, God created a good bottle of Scotch and said: “This is for those occasions when the first two don’t work.”
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A clergywoman leaves a church meeting and walks to a darkened bar. She approaches the bar and says, “Give me a double Scotch neat.”
A member of her church sees her and gets up from his table and says to her: “How do you, a woman and a priest, justify coming into a bar like this to drink at night? Don’t you care about the reputation of the church?”
She responds: “When you became a member of the church, God told me this might be a necessary exception.”
“I find your behavior offensive,” he said.
Suddenly Jesus appears and says: “Blessings my daughter, they made the same accusations about me. In my case it happened right after James & John got into a fight for the fifteenth time about who was the greatest.
“Then he looks at the man, ‘Say, how old are you? You look very familiar.'”
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People assume that when Jesus said you should forgive 70 times 7 , he was only talking about how preachers should behave.
When Jesus said you should turn the other cheek, he didn‘t mean congregants can strike preachers once a day for free.
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How many preachers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to moderate the meeting of the finance committee who thinks we can’t afford to buy any light bulbs.
One to fend off critics who say if your sermons were more brilliant, people wouldn’t need any more light bulbs.
One to fend off liberals who declare it is unethical to spend money on light bulbs when there are so many people starving in the dark.
One to respond to the zealots who say that light bulbs are not necessary because Jesus is the light of the world.
One to resist the temptation to say to all the whiners in the congregation, “Screw you.”
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It’s tough being a pastor in this crazy world.
If you were a waiter in a restaurant, people are expected to tip you 20 % for good service.
But when you are a pastor, people feel no guilt about stiffing you for services out of this world.
Which one did you enjoy most? Your vote counts
