THE EMOTIONAL LIFE OF A PASTOR

The very nature of ministry engages one in the emotional roller coaster of engaging the highs and lows of a variety of people. All good pastors have the chords of their deep feelings plucked on a daily basis. Because a pastor is empathetic to others, they drink in both their pains and their joys. The nerve endings of our bodies are continually touched by the feelings of others and these, in turn, trigger our own emotional responses. Nerves restore themselves at a slower pace than the physical body.

While some emotional stressors are the result of negative behavior by either individual members or the congregation as a whole, much of the emotional cost of being a pastor is simply the fact of being a pastor. It is important for those concerned with the emotional health of a pastor to be aware of both those things that can be changed and those areas that will always be a part of being in the ministry. The challenge for a church is how best to support the pastor in coping with all of these emotional pressures.

A partial list might be as follows:

1. How can the congregation be educated to respect the pastor’s day off?

2. Has the session shared guidelines of when it is appropriate to interrupt the day off?

3. Does the pastor recognize the session’s support for taking alternate time off when the day off is interrupted?

4. Does the session encourage the pastor to take his or her full vacation and study leave during each year?

5. Does the session support the pastor meeting regularly with a counselor or spiritual director?

6. Is there a mechanism of support when either an individual or a group within the congregation becomes particularly difficult?

7. Has the session worked to create a culture of appreciation when the pastor has done a good job? Far too often individuals will feel free to lift up complaints but will neglect to say thank you when appropriate

8. Is the pastor encouraged to have fun and to laugh?

9. Do people invite the pastor to non-church related events in the community?

10. Does the session or other groups recognize the shared sacrifice of the pastor’sfamily?

11. Has the session found ways to show appreciation to other members of the family in a manner that is comfortable for them?

Choose a couple of areas where your congregation does well and a couple of areas where they can improve.

Consider reading a short story about clergy and discussing it for 15 minutes at each meeting as a way of becoming familiar with experiences of the clergy. Some of the stories in the three-volume collection of Clergy Tales–Tails provide a way of reflecting on the challenges of clergy life.

CLERGY TAILS–TALES  

Experience the life of clergy from the inside.