A slightly revised version of a joke sent to me by my cousin
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and many meetings, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will,
The Baptist, firmly committed to “believer baptism,” tried to prepare the squirrels through intense instruction on the correct belief. They were horrified to see the squirrels preferred to play tag in their baptistry.
The Lutheran Church told the squirrels they can only be saved by grace and not by works. The squirrels, not having such good hearing, are still running up and around the trees to determine who will be saved by winning the race.
The Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.