Below are a set of questions for a ministerial couple who do not have children. If you have not read the previous blog, I will remind you of how the game is played. Obviously the setting should be private where the couple can be open with each other.
Below are 35 questions that you should place on individual 3 x 5 cards and shuffle them so that there is no predetermined order. Place the deck between the two of you. Using two die, the person who begins throws the die and counts down to that number in the deck. This is their question to answer. Once finished, the card is placed in the middle of the deck and the next person throws the die and answers the question. After four or five times, the deck is cut or shuffled so that new cards can be chosen. Each person should be free to ansswer as they desire. Before the game begins, agree on the length of time that you will continue.
1. What is one unexpected pressure of the ministry on our relationship?
2. How does the lack of two and three day weekends affect our relationship with our extended family? How should we respond?
3. How do you perceive our parents’ attitude towards the ministry?
4. How well do you think each of us does in finding personal time for ourselves?
5. How well do you think we do in finding couple time apart from others?
6. What are the couple time activities that you most enjoy?
7. What are the couple time activities that you least enjoy?
8. What is an activity that you think your spouse would enjoy?
9. How are you doing with your own spiritual journey?
10. How do you feel about our financial planning towards retirement?
11. What type of Bible study or spiritual practice would you like to share with your spouse?
12. How do we decide whose career takes precedence in determining a move? How does that make you feel?
13. How do you think we are doing in handling our finances?
14. How adequately and fairly do you think the church acts in determining the pastor’s salary and benefits?
15. Do you think the way the congregation is informed and/or acts on the pastor’s salary and benefits is appropriate?
16. What do you think are the congregation’s expectations of the pastor’s spouse?
17. Are you comfortable with the way the congregation relates to the pastor’s spouse?
18. What do you think the pastor expects of the pastor’s spouse?
19. If we think we are overscheduled, what is one activity each of us would drop?
20. If we had a totally unscheduled day, what is one way you would like us to spend it?
21. How do you think we are doing in sharing basic household tasks?
22. Where do you feel guilty about your support of your spouse?
23. How do you feel about how we are responding to the needs of our parents?
24. What good health practice do you think we should consider doing?
25. How supportive do you think the congregation is of the pastor?
26. Does the congregation support the pastor’s involvement in mission or service activity outside the congregation?
27. How do you feel about the judicatory’s support of the pastor?
28. Do I think the judicatory expects too much of the pastor?
29. In time of crisis, who would you call upon for pastoral support?
30. What is something new you would like us to explore for a vacation?
31. What is one recreational activity that you would like us to do?
32. What is one hobby you could do that would be an escape from the normal stresses of life?
33. In what way can we ease the stress of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter on the minister’s family?
34. If we had children in the future, who do you think should be the guardian of our children, if we should be killed in an accident?
35 How would you describe what you think God expects of you as a partner in this marriage?
Feel free to add additional questions. It is quite likely that you will want to stop before all the questions have been addressed. Some of them will arise the next time you play the game.
