MISTAKES WERE MADE
When a pastor comes to the time for retirement, many make the error of believing that they can simply lock the door and walk away. It’s done. Now I can put that behind me. I don’t know whether people in other professions can do that, but I am fairly sure it is a mistake for pastors to believe that they can do that.
Some pastors complete their final pastorate on a high note. Others barely make it to the finish line. Certainly for the latter, there are the painful emotions, perhaps a sense of failure, and frequently some strong feelings of bitterness. However, even for those who finish with much celebration and affirmation, it is a mistake to think that they don’t need to pay attention to the physical and emotional toll of ministry. It was not a smooth journey and the feelings generated by some of the challenges still are part of who you are.
BEING INTENTIONAL
It is not enough to take a few days to complete the house chores that have been neglected, organize your files, and take a month’s vacation. Ministry is an organic process that has taxed you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You may not be conscious about the cumulative cost of 35 to 50 years of ministry on your person-hood, but it is very real. Neglecting to address some of the deeper issues can create some serious problems for your future.
Many of the wounds of ministry may seem to have been healed over time but the scars and even the infections can still remain. If you want to be truly healthy, you cannot just ignore the emotional and spiritual wounds that have accumulated over the years.
FORGIVENESS ISN’T FOR SISSIES
Our whole faith centers around relationships. The great commandment focuses on love of God and love of neighbor. The history of our pastorates is filled with painful ruptures, betrayals, and insensitive experiences. Trying to forget them and ignore the pain of the past is a mistake. When Jesus told us we were to forgive the same person seventy times seven, he wasn’t doing that just for the sake of the other person. Now that you are retired, one of your new freedoms is to take some time to deepen your spiritual awareness of the power of forgiveness.
Forgiveness requires a bold honesty. As a first step, you would benefit from reflecting on your experience of ministry and naming some of the painful moments that you have experienced. You may have felt that God let you down, or the denomination, or congregations that you have served. There will also be a number of individuals–congregants, clergy colleagues, friends who will be on that list.
Over a period of time, you will need to explore the power of forgiveness to heal the wounds created by these events, institutions, and people. Steps in doing that will be explored in future blogs on this topic.
