DON’T BE IN A HURRY
If you read my last blog and followed through on the recommendation, you have begun to identify some of the painful episodes that occurred during your ministry. Don’t be in a hurry to complete this task. This is not something that you finish in a few hours, tuck it away, and get on with your life. Healing is not a product. It is a process.
In making your list, don’t neglect your early experiences in the ministry. Just because they happened a long time ago doesn’t mean that they don’t still affect your life. For now, just identify them and move on. Later you may want to describe them in more detail.
Some of the events that impacted you painfully may have resulted from mistaken actions on your part. These too need to be identified. Moments where you have felt personal failure can play heavy on your heart. When we explore the dimension of forgiveness, a major and often overlooked aspect is the forgiveness of self.
BE ANGRY BUT DO NOT LET THE SUN GO DOWN
Paul’s advice encourages us to pay attention to our feelings and their impact on us. The hurtful events in your ministry need to be confronted before the sun goes down on this chapter of your life’s journey. You may be retired but God is not through with you yet. It is important that unresolved issues in your past not distort your ability to respond to your future.
A SECOND STEP
Feelings that are repressed still operate on your psyche and your spirit. The second step you need to take is to bluntly identify the feelings that linger around some of the events that you have identified. It is important that you be very honest with yourself at this point. It may be helpful to make use of a spiritual director or counselor to help you be honest with yourself.
NAMING THE DEOMONS
Rollo May, in his book Love and Will, was the first person to point out to me the significance of naming our demons. Unresolved emotions are daimons or forces of energy that circulate through our being. As Jesus named the demons before exorcism, so it is important for you to name your demons. When you can identify a strong emotion that is operating in your life, you are much more in control of determining how that emotion will affect you.
Again, don’t try to complete these tasks in a brief period of time. However, you do not need to have completed a first step before you move on to a second or third step. Begin to work on identifying past events and their impact on you.
In a future blog we will work on allowing forgiveness to impact your healing process.
