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Comedy

On Seeking a Pastor

By April 28, 2011No Comments

When congregations seek a new pastor, they want someone who will love them, forgive them, and lead them according to God’s word.

When the pastor arrives, s/he is asked to read the small print in the contract.

You are asked to love us but refrain from knowing us in the biblical sense.

We would prefer that you forgive us without insisting on naming our sins before you forgive us.

We want you to lead this congregation according to God’s word but avoid moving us into new territory that might make us uncomfortable.

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Most congregations like to operate on the 80/20 rule.
80% of the work is done by 20% of the members.
20% of the congregation provide 80% of the budget.
80 % of the members delight in knowing the juiciest gossip about 20% of the members whose sins are so blatant that people overlook the 80 % of the sins committed by 100 % of the members.

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