OUR EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER
Ministry places you on an emotional rollercoaster. At one moment you are preparing a sermon. Then someone interrupts you with a personal problem for which they seek counsel. On the same day, you may face a complaint about some trivial event, prepare for the baptism of an infant, plan for a youth retreat, and engage in an ecumenical response to some community event. Then you open the mail and read of some member’s complaint about something you have done or failed to do.
There are highs, lows, boredom, and continual demands. Is it any wonder that you feel emotionally drained at the end of a week. When you engage in this week after week, it takes its toll. The better a pastor you are, the heavier the toll.
Consider some practices that can provide you relief from emotional stress. It is important to identify a variety of strategies that fit into various time slots. It may be that you only have a few minutes and just need to learn how to breathe. Another time, in between hospital calls, you may need to avail yourself of fifteen minutes in the hospital chapel. There are times you need to give yourself permission to read a good book or take a walk. Sometimes knowing that you have a regularly scheduled appointment with a spiritual guide may get you through the day.
CHECKING ONE’S EMOTIONAL BLOOD PRESSURE
Anyone who thinks about it recognizes that church professions place pastors and educators (P/E) under a lot of emotional stress. The problem is that we, including pastors and educators, don’t think about it very much.
Stress comes in many forms. It can certainly come from crisis in our lives or in our churches. It can also come from good experiences, successes, and opportunities. More often than we realize, it comes from the little pressures and irritations that are a regular part of our day and continually gnaw at our nerves. Nerve endings that are rubbed raw take longer to heal than what can be accomplished by a good night’s sleep or even an occasional extra day off.
It is important that we develop strategies by which we take care of ourselves emotionally. A key strategy is finding a way to name and own the emotional responses generated by our daily experiences. A simple way of taking your emotional blood pressure is to get a small notepad that you can carry around with you. At least for a couple of weeks, make it a practice of keeping record of how you are feeling at a variety of moments in your day. Don’t over analyze it. Simply record it and if possible what was the incident that generated that feeling. Be sure to record both positive and negative, strong and mild responses.
FORMING A GRAPH OF YOUR PROGRESS
After a couple of weeks, go back and graph your flow of feelings. On the vertical side of the graph put numbers to represent intensity and along the horizontal line list the hours of the day at least from the time you get up till the time you go to bed. Using two colors of pens, graph both your good feelings and your negative feelings.
Now look at the graph and see what occurs to you. It may be helpful to do this with a friend and let them also reflect on what it looks like. The first thing you are looking for is reoccurring patterns. Are their particular times of day or types of incidents that repeatedly stimulate similar responses?
Now take those patterns to God in prayer. Ask what God would like you to do with respect to what you have identified. Whether it is a negative or a positive response that is stimulated, each holds possibilities for redemptive actions. You might want to ask whether there are any biblical images that are prompted by specific types of response. Feel free to play with possibilities. It may be helpful to write about your responses. Sometimes that can surface new possibilities.
Good Approach