I speak of this phase of learning how to appreciate each moment and cutting back on my “driveness” as part of my new vocation or calling. As I look back on my life, I have very few regrets and most of those have to do with interpersonal interactions that I wished I’d handled better. In many ways I’ve been very blessed. My employed ministry of 38 years has been filled with enormous satisfaction. God used me, including my many shortcomings and limitations, to effect a meaningful ministry. But that phase of my life is slowly coming to a close. So what next?
I am just beginning to reflect on this but it seems to me that learning to be more spiritual and experienced in finding meaning and satisfaction in just being can also be of help to others. I’m hardly the only one going through this chapter of life. I’ve always been fascinated by the verses at the end of the Gospel of John in which Jesus said to Peter, “When you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten your belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go. . . . After this he said to him, ‘Follow me.'”
As I grow older, even though I am presently in good health, I wonder if part of my vocation is to learn how to follow Jesus when my body fails me and others move me where they wish. I don’t think I’d be very good at that. But maybe, with God’s help, I still have some time to learn. And in the process, I might be of help to others as well.
