An important message that you want to convey to the prospective pastor is your acknowledgment that stress in the ministry is inevitable but that you want to work with him or her in creating a culture of mutual caring between pastor and congregation that contributes to a healthy relationship. While you recognize that the PNC is a unique slice of the congregation, you will try to convey that same awareness to the congregation from the beginning.
As a first step, you could invite both pastor and family to identify five expectations they would like shared with the congregation as they move into the community. At the same time, the PNC should list their top five expectation for this first 6 months. The conversation among the members of the pastor’s family in preparing that list can be healthy in itself. The same should be true as the PNC draws upon their time together to make the same list. Some conversation between the pastor and the PNC about these lists might lead to some editing and then, when they are ready, this should be shared with the congregation.
The PNC might also share with the congregation some of the natural stresses that any family experiences in moving to a new community and a couple of specific ones associated with being a pastor’s family. The new pastor might also want to write a letter to the congregation acknowledging that the congregation also has their share of stress in adjusting to a new pastor and suggesting a few steps that s/he intends to take to lessen that stress and build on the excitement of their new relationship.
Next week, we can talk about helping the pastor when s/he arrives so that the first 6 months be a healthy one.
