Here is an outline for an idea of how presbyteries could offer a significant ministry to the clergy families of their presbytery. What I am suggesting is that the presbytery offer a retreat for the families of clergy. It would probably be best after the Easter season and you might ask for the support of your congregations to have pulpit supply if you wanted to have a full weekend retreat. I would not neglect the possibility of asking the retired pastors of your presbytery if they would offer to supply for free in case of economically challenged churches.
For reason of economy and to have sufficient numbers to make it fun, it might be best to try this in concert with another presbytery. You also might want to draw on the gifts of some of the skilled educators and counselors to design the actual program for the retreat.
You would offer the retreat for pastors and their families. Child care for infants and programs for young children should be offered so that the older members of the family could have some freedom to enjoy the experience.
Your desingers should prepare programs for elementary children and youth that would enable them to explore the dimensions, both positive and negative, of being a part of a pastoral family. Some simulation games could be designed to open such a conversation. It would be important to bring out some of the positive aspects as well as provide ways to help them learn how to explore the pressures of such a situation.
Spouses of the pastors should have some time with each other to share their experiences apart from the pastors. Again, you want to explore both the positive and the negative. You might begin by asking them to go around a circle sharing their particular situation and then have one share a positive experience and then the next one share some of the pressure that they have felt. Go around the circle at least twice so that everyone has a chance to share both aspects of being part of a pastor’s family.
Have the pastors explore some of the pressures they know their family experiences and some of the guilt that they feel for putting their family through such an experience.
A collection of some of those experiences, without names, could be shared with a combined session with the pastor and the spouse. Based on that, the group could explore some of the ways they have managed to handle such pressures.
There are lots of details that would have to be worked out but the opportunity to engage in such an exploration among others in similar situations could offer some healing possibilities. It might also provide some connections among couples that they could utilize in the future.
