Yesterday I shared with you some disturbing statistics about the stress of ministry. Today, I want to focus particularly on the Fuller Institute’s study that said that in their interview of 1,000 pastors, 80% felt that their ministry has had a negative impact on their families. Of course that “negative impact” could reflect anything from dealing with the pressure of maintaining a good public image to the real threat of being fired. It is significant that such a high percentage of pastors acknowledge the pressures of ministry on their families. I had a very satisfying and fulfilling ministry but carry some guilt about how the pressures of being a pastor affected my family.
Most professionals recognize that the pressures of their career have an impact on their families. What makes the difference is how we respond in light of those pressures. In the ToolBox at www.pastoralcarenetwork.org there are several suggestions for ways that a pastor can engage his or her family in healthy experiences to counter the effects of these pressures. I want to suggest one additional action that a pastor could take with his or her spouse. It won’t solve the problem of stress but it might strengthen the bonds between you.
Set aside the next honorarium from a wedding, etc., for a special night out with your spouse. Let’s say you take him or her to a very nice restaurant. When you have placed the order, engage in the following. Both of you place your hand on the table but at some distance from the other person’s hand. Each of you are asked to come up with one statement of appreciation for the other person, especially but not specifically in the context of your ministry. As each person makes their statement, they move their hand closer to the other person. After each of you has made five statements, your hands should be touching. Now take each others hand and have a prayer of thanks for God having brought you together.
Now enjoy the food and the evening.
