During my recent teaching experience in Mexico, I introduced the pastors to the experience of allowing the psalms to guide them in their personal prayers as a pastor. As Dietrick Bonhoeffer said in his book on the psalms, the psalms are provided for us to teach us how to pray. I have found that if you will take a psalm and use it as your framework but rewrite it slightly to apply it specifically to your situation, it can have a powerfully healing effect.
Take Psalm 142 and personalize it for yourself. I will give you my example but use your freedom when you are trying to do it for yourself.
With a pastor’s voice, Steve cries to the Lord, with a distressed voice, Steve makes supplication to the Lord.
Steve pours out the pressures he feels before God; Steve tells his personal problems before God.
When Steve’s spirit is faint, Steve knows you have not forgotten him.
In the path where Steve walks , opposition has hidden a trap for him– Steve wonders if anyone takes notice of what is happening. Where should Steve go for refuge. Where should Steve look for those who really care for him.
Steve cries to the Lord and remembers that God is Steve’s refuge, Steve’s portion in the land of the living. Give heed to Steve’s cry, for Steve is brought very low.
Save Steve from his opposition, for they are too strong for Steve alone. Bring Steve out of the prison of frustration and fear so that Steve may give thanks to your name.
The righteous will surround Steve, for you will deal bountifully with Steve.
I have deliberately put my personal name rather than the personal pronoun in the psalm to emphasize that it is about me. I encourage you to both write it that way and then pray it aloud so that you can hear it. You can also substitute others who you know are under pressure. You could even substitute your church or your denomination and pray it that way. There may be portions that make you feel uneasy to pray but if you probe deeper you may also find that there are areas of your life that feel the way the psalmist declares. As John Calvine suggests, the psalms are an anatomy of the human soul and like a mirror reflects every aspect of our emotions.
I will suggest some other psalms in future days but I would encourage you to allow the psalms to teach you how to pray about you and your ministry. In such prayers, you may find a source of healing.