THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
with interpretation
By Steve McCutchan
1. YOU SHALL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME:
Unless those gods pay your salary, are high up in the church hierarchy, or write for the Presbyterian Layman.
2. YOU SHALL NOT MAKE ANY GRAVEN IMAGES:
Unless it is in a stain glass window; colored red, white, and blue hanging on a pole; or is on green paper and has an image of Andrew Jackson or above on it.
3. YOU SHALL NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN:
But other vain things are acceptable including a fancy far, a Mac-mansion, flashy rings on our fingers, etc.
4. REMEMBER THE SABBATH DAY, TO KEEP IT HOLY.
This does not mean sleeping in and skipping church, nor making others work so you can shop, nor worshipping at the football stadium.
5. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER,
Rich Uncles, step parents, and bosses who can promote you to a higher paying position.
6. THOU SHALL NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS
Unless you are a politician caught with your pants down, a corporate executive who has bankrupted your company, or a preacher caught embezzling funds.
7. THOU SHALT NOT STEAL
A neighbor’s good name, a livable wage from someone who works for you, or the integrity of the church by your behavior. (Heh, they can’t all be funny.)
8. THOU SHALT NOT KILL
Unless you are a nation, a court, or a religious fanatic.
9. THOU SHALT NOT COVET ANYTHING THAT IS YOUR NEIGHBORS.
Except wealth (which you can justify s/he doesn’t deserve) Or his or her good name (which you can destroy with well placed gossip.) Or his wife
10. THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY
I saved this for last since it was probably the first one that came to your mind when you thought about the Ten Commandments. Jesus expanded it to include adultery of the mind, which means we all are in trouble and dependent on grace.
If you need an Eleventh Commandment, make my New Year bright by reading my new mystery, A Star and a Tear, and even entering the contest at Goodreads.
