One factor that makes the whole area of clergy self-care so difficult is that it is often left up to the individual clergy person. Because self-care draws on the internal commitment of the individual, it is affected by personal history. For reasons I need not go into, as a little boy I had a great need to earn my hard working father’s approval. That helped shape my psyche in a way that I try to earn approval of others through working extra hard. Other pastors will have been shaped by other experiences in childhood. None of these experiences need be wrong in themselves, but when we are conscious of them, it can help us respond appropriately.
I know of pastors that are so good at drawing boundaries to protect personal time that the congregation is reluctant to approach them. I know of others who seem to have a need to be called at any time day or night and feel affirmed in ministry by overwork and exhaustion.
A first step in developing an appropriate strategy of self-care would be to become conscious of what your current practices are. Write out a description of how you balance or fail to balance work, rest, leisure, and fun.
Next, find a time when you can examine how your childhood experiences have shaped the development of your current practice. You might find it valuable to be assisted in that process by a counselor or spiritual advisor.
Then identify how that approach is communicated to your congregation and how that message affects your ministry within the congregation. The truth is that all we do becomes part of our ministry. Our ability to live in a healthy rhythm of work, play, and spiritual and personal relationships shapes how people hear the gospel that we proclaim. Healthy pastors help create healthy congregations.
