Very few clergy or educators are under any illusion that they will make a lot of money in their profession. Many of them wouldn’t handle being famous very well either. But they all need to know that what they are doing is worthwhile. They need to know that they are not invisible.
The temptation is to perform those actions and say those words that are most likely to get approval. Sometimes that is good but sometimes it can also compromise your soul. I once had a wedding for a couple that the bride was a member of a very difficult and influential member of my congregation. The challenge was to try to maintain some integrity while also not creating an unnecessary uproar in the church. It was exhausting work.
Another member of the church came up to me about a week before the wedding and said, “I know this is a difficult wedding for you and you will be glad when it is over. Hang in there.” It was a small act but was of tremendous support. Small words of support and recognition of your efforts can make you feel like you are not invisible. Someone has noticed.
It would not be difficult for someone at the church to identify some important dates in a pastors life. What is the anniversary of his or her ordination, the date of their coming to this church, the birthdays of their children, wedding anniversary, etc. Small notices of such dates can also convey that the person is of value as a person and not just as a figure.
An occasional expression of thanks to the spouse and children for the efforts of their pastor parent can mean a lot. Most clergy have some level of guilt about how often their profession deprives members of their family. Helping the pastor’s family recognize how important their father or mother’s ministry is, can help a lot.
It is often the little things that can make all the difference.
