We come to the conclusion of this story. If you have enjoyed it, I would like to hear from you.
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“Thank you. I’ve heard some other women in this church say it, and now I have experienced it myself. You really know how to listen, and that can feel very good.
“Harold knew how to listen—once. I think that was what first attracted me to him.” She snickered. “Just my luck. I meet two men who know how to listen, and one’s a friggin faggot and the other is a preacher with morals.”
I tried to offer a stern look. “Eleanor, I have serious questions as to whether Harold is gay and even if he is, the word ‘faggot’ is inappropriate.”
She grimaced. “OK, I will be a good girl now and behave myself, but sometimes it feels good to be a little crude in a safe place. I never understood what a sanctuary was before, but you are good at offering sanctuary.”
“When was the last time you talked to Harold?”
“We spoke yesterday. He wanted to take the children to lunch.”
“How did he sound?”
“Pretty low. It seemed to lift his spirits when I agreed that the children could have Saturday lunch with him. He really is a good father.”
“Eleanor, a few minutes ago you acted in a way that seems out of character.”
She blushed. “I’m sorry. I bet you thought you were in a scene from Desperate Housewives.”
“What I thought was that, for a moment, you were overpowered by an almost uncontrollable need to affirm your worth. I raise that for two reasons. One, I want us to get beyond it. And two, I want to suggest that Harold may be feeling that same sense of unworthiness.”
“I think I see what you mean. I’ve been so angry I haven’t given him or his needs much thought.”
“Whatever else is true, he is both the father of your children and, up until that incident, had been a supportive husband It might be helpful for him to hear that from you.”
She stared at the floor in silence. After about a minute, she looked up. “I’ll call him as soon as I leave here. Is your secretary right next door?”
“Uh, yes she is.”
“Would you ask her to come in for a moment?”
Although a little puzzled, I punched the phone’s call button and asked Margaret to step into the office.
As Margaret entered, Eleanor stood up and introduced herself. “Margaret, I’m about to give your boss a very affectionate hug for what he’s done for me today, and I asked you to come in to protect his reputation.”
Eleanor hugged me and then she was gone, leaving me a little breathless.
“I never knew being a pastor’s secretary could be so much fun,” Margaret said with an impish smile on her face.
I like number 1. The more you iogrne the people around you, for your own self interest, the more your soul dies. When I get needy in a place of service, this is usually the culprit (putting my discomfort or desire over His) and it is poison if taken. I could end up doing or not doing all kinds of things that have nothing to do with His work in me or in others. What He is doing in someone else’s life often intersects or compliments what He is doing in mine. It is usually not about becoming clones of each other, or even about doing the exact same work in the same way. I have been trying some new ways in mentoring and serving those I share space with (my teens,their friends, relatives, coworkers, & neighbors-at home, work and church) Being there to gently support wins and fails, discoveries, when they reinvent the wheel, when they disagree, or get frustrated, or simply need to find their own path is the best of it. To only delegate, answer questions when asked, or direct from my own point of view is pretty limiting and stifles the potential we each have and the ministry or work we have together in the day.I am wanting better sight into the core issues, instead of focusing and reacting and responding only to behavior and outcomes, in relationships and ministry. I think this will strengthen me, focus me, and commit me to larger purposes, and open me up to working better with and for others. Sometimes my kids make me want to pull my hair out, and they would say the same of me. I would not trade the challenge of being together in trying times and places though. When you go through difficulty or set impossible goals, in community, you learn what is worth something and what is worth letting go. To fight/argue/disagree/discuss/dream, with out destroying each other and while learning is something worth the effort. You learn to appreciate one another and you come to see His face in others and maybe even in the mirror. You learn to laugh and smile with and at one another. And you learn to respond to Him, whether He is commanding or lain beaten on the side of the road needing medical attention.We are in the place and time we each are for a reason. And it is hard for everyone in different ways.His song is playing 24/7 all over the universe, without beginning or end. He loves us fiercely and we GET to love Him back. Best thing we can do is let Him help us release, turn away and overcome what would try to distort, drown out, disrupt, clash, or try to replace His singing out for our very souls. Seth Godin did a little book about quitting the Dip that is a good read on this topic. I know from experience that my life got better when I stopped the cycle of doing so much that I had to keep quitting. Actually doing what matters when and where it matters for the season you are in or approaching makes is way easier to deal with later than just sitting around wondering and complaining about what really matters (or mattered) most.We only have the time we have, why not use it well? And best to not forget to use the lamp when sin (sun) has set upon us. John 11:9