We continue to draw lessons about ministry from the fictional story Truth and Consequences, amzn.to/15TORlR . This part engages the particular incident of sexuality that Eleanor brought to Paul. As you discuss it, you should broaden it to include how pastors respond when they are confronted with other shocking incidents in the life of a person who comes to them.
You might also discuss the fact that when a person seeks counsel of a pastor, they are looking for spiritual answers as well as practical advice. How does a pastor convey the healing grace of God to people caught in complex, even devastating circumstances?
REFRAMING
Eleanor reports that she thought that her husband’s secret was that he was having an affair. “I’m now convinced I know what is coming, and I am angry. ‘Who is she?’ I asked.
“Then came the bomb shell. He looked up at me and with more pain than I think I have ever seen in a person’s eyes. He said, ‘That’s the problem. It isn’t another woman.’ Then, in almost a whisper, he said, ‘It’s a man.’
Even though you have already read the story, try to step outside of how Paul responded and consider what you think your first response would have been and why?
Eleanor reports that this whole revelation occurred in response to a sermon that the pastor had preached on truth telling. She then shares her beliefs based on both childhood memories and infrequent sermons that she has heard in the media. How often does a person’s inadequate theology become the first challenge for the pastor who is seeking to help?
Paul responds by saying:
“Let’s separate things out a bit. At this moment, are you angriest at me for the sermon, the Bible, or your husband?”
What was Paul trying to do with such a question?
When is it important for a pastor to help a distraught person to step back from their immediate pain and view it from a larger perspective?
What is your reaction to Paul’s attempt to re-frame the question by saying: “Jesus never said anything about homosexuality, but he did speak about the almost sacred quality of the covenant of marriage. That’s the real sin we are dealing with. …The real question that we need to deal with is that the covenant of your marriage has been broken. What would you have done differently if it had been another woman?”
UNDERSTANDING BOUNDARIES
How do you understand what happened when Eleanor began to flaunt her sexuality before Paul? In recent years there have been many suggestions about how a pastor should guard against such situations. What is lost and what is gained by how pastors choose to react?
While it becomes clear that Paul has a particular theological position with respect to homosexuality and the church, how did he, how does any pastor, stay true to their understanding but also respond in a healing way to a person’s distress?
