I’m sure it must be true for others as well, but clergy can easily experience a large measure of guilt when they are depressed. That guilt compounds their sense of isolation and helplessness. Consider some of the central messages of the Christian faith that counter unhelpful responses that they can easily both hear and internalize.
In the place of, “It always helps me to remember that there are people far worse off than I am.”, they need to hear something like, “You are an important part of the Body of Christ, and we are here for you.”
Instead of “Stop feeling sorry for yourself, no one said life was fair,” they need to hear, “I don’t want you to feel alone as you struggle with this. Let’s explore together how God might work through this with you.”
Instead of, “If you just had enough faith, this wouldn’t be a problem for you,” or “Why do you think God is punishing you at this time,” they need to hear, “Depression is real. You are not crazy and it’s not your fault.”
Instead of “I once had a friend who was depressed and he was helped by (whatever home remedy you’ve heard about),”, they need to hear, “You need to get a competent medical diagnosis, and if you want, I will go with you to the appointment.”
Instead of, “Buck up, you’ll feel better in a few days. Just try to think positive,” they need to hear, “I can’t possibly understand what you are feeling, but I do believe God works best through wounded healers. As painful as this is, we can all grow from this if you will let us accompany you in this journey.”
Let me be clear that I have never experienced a season of depression. I would be very interested in hearing if some of my attempts at helpful responses are off base. This is a serious reality and we need to mature in our ability to be supportive of each other.
