Any good pastor is going to work long hours, experience a continuing roller coaster of emotional situations, feel stressed by the inability to do everything, and feel guilty that at times his or her profession causes the family to suffer as well. Frustrations as well as exhilaration, compassion as well as anger, hope as well as despair, energy as well as exhaustion are just part of being a pastor. In that situation, there are both good and bad ways that the pastor can practice self-care, and there are ways that the congregation can exhibit support.
BEGIN AT THE BEGINNING
From the beginning of this relationship, the PNC should communicate to the congregation in several ways that they have a goal of designing ways to support the new pastor and be good stewards of his or her physical, emotional, spiritual, and family health. Remind the congregation that a healthy pastor can provide healthy ministry. Having described the challenge, invite the members of the congregation to submit suggestions about how the congregation can participate in creating this mutual support between pastor and congregation. What you are doing is engaging the members in being conscious of their ministry to the pastor even as the pastor has a ministry to them. Evaluate some of the ideas you receive and feed the best ideas back to the congregation.
Also, the PNC should commit to meeting at least quarterly with the pastor and focus at least part of that time on what the pastor is doing to take care of himself or herself even as s/he offers ministry to others. By making the pastor aware that this is part of the quarterly agenda, you are building both expectation and support for the pastor engaging in self-care.
As the leadership of the congregation becomes intentional about the health of the pastor and family, the conversation should be expanded to include a Christian concern for the health of the entire congregation. The pastor is the spiritual leader for the whole congregation in which every member is called to recognize that his or her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), and each are called to be good stewards of their personal bodies so that all can “glorify God in the body.” Together, the pastor and congregation are to raise the challenge of developing ways in which the gospel can address how we live in a healthy manner in the midst of a stressful society. What you are doing is seeking an atmosphere of mutual care where all learn to love one another.
This is really the challenge faced by most people in our society. How do we embody in our living together Jesus’ invitation in Matthews 11:28-30. “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Wouldn’t it be exciting for a whole congregation to focus on realizing that promise?
