YOU CAN DRIFT OR PLAN
Because of the constant demand on our time, it is easy to fall into the trap of drifting towards our future. The idea of planning ahead and being intentional about our future appeals to us but is often put aside because when we do have time we are too exhausted to take on another big project. I want to propose a short exercise that you could get initial results in around an hour’s time.
LIFE IS MORE THAN A CAREER
Too often when we do plan, it is focused on career changes, but while that is important, there are lots of other aspects to our life that could benefit from some intentional planning. The quality of our life is affected by our physical health, our relationships, our spiritual journey, and our career as well as other factors. What I will propose is a short but disciplined way of reflecting on your whole life. It is just a beginning, but it could energize a more complete process later on.
I’m going to specifically talk about religious leaders, but it can apply to any person who wants to take their life journey seriously.
THINKING BEGINS WITH WRITING
I want you to begin by thinking two years into the future. This will make it close enough that you can begin now to act on your thoughts but not so far into the future that you will be tempted to delay in getting started. I’m going to suggest five areas, but you can easily expand this into other areas as well. Writing your thoughts down, either on paper or with one of the various electronic devices, is important. Too often, when we try to just process our ideas in our mind, we keep spinning out of control. By writing it down, we can look at and reflect on what we are thinking. In each area, I will ask you to write three or four statements. Each statement will be different so you are probing a series of possibilities. By keeping it to three or four, you won’t get overwhelmed with the task.
BEGIN BY BEGINNING
PHYSICAL
Begin by writing out three or four statements on where you would like to be physically in two years. Be as specific as you can. Instead of saying I want to be healthier, think about what that would look like. For example, I want to discipline myself to eat healthier foods and lose twenty pounds. Or I want to train myself to get at least eight hours of sleep at least five times a week.
EMOTIONAL
Now, make three statements about where you would like to be emotionally in two years. Don’t take a lot of time analyzing the previous area before you move on to each new area. Continue to be as specific as possible so that you will be able to measure your progress. Also, don’t be afraid to identify small goals. Big changes begin with small steps. In the area of emotions, you will probably have to name some emotional traits that you wish to change. I’d like to be able to complete at least three days a week feeling thankful for what has taken place. I’d like to catch myself when I’m being cynical and alter my thoughts to something more positive.
RELATIONAL
We continue but this time focus on your relationships. Here you can make a choice as to whether you focus on your intimate relationships with family or close friends, or whether you want to look at your business or social relationships. If this process works for you, you may want to choose one area of relationships now and then return to others at another time. Again, think about how you want those relationships to be two years from now. If you could alter your relationship with those who irritate you in the church, how would you like them to be in two years? What can you imagine changing in your relationship with your spouse or children?
Try to describe in specific ways how that relationship would look. Make three statements to describe three different ways that you would experience the relationship you have chosen. If you are a pastor, educator, you might want to focus on the larger relationship with the congregation, or groups within the church. Presbytery staff might want to imagine how they relate to the small congregations, the retired clergy, etc.
SPIRITUAL
Yes, you do need to look at your spiritual life. Again their are a variety of aspects from which you can choose. You might want to deepen your practice of contemplative prayer. You might want to develop a practice of praying consistently for members of your congregation, for the church, the presbytery, etc. Or you might want to develop a discipline of listening to Scripture address you personally.
Of course spiritual growth doesn’t only happen with interior disciplines. You might want to engage in some charitable work, engage in some faith conversations with either a close friend or a spiritual adviser, read some books that address spiritual subjects, or take time to address an issue of justice from a spiritual perspective.
Write your three statements. You don’t have to know how to achieve your goal to decide you want to work on it. Don’t over analyze at this point. Just identify where you would like to be two years from now in three different areas that you would define as part of your spiritual journey.
CAREER
This may be the easiest or the hardest area in which to work. You may be very satisfied with where you are now, so your statements may reflect how you want to develop in your current situation. You may have some vague yearnings and your statement may be where you will be in two years in your exploration. Don’t be afraid to write a statement that is a little unsettling. You can always change your mind later and in writing about a possibility, you get a better feeling for what it looks like. You might write that in two years you want to leave the pastorate and become a religious journalist. The next day you may consider that the craziest idea you have every had. That realization alone is progress.
YOUR TAKE HOME ASSIGNMENT
What you now have is a blueprint for possible futures. Give yourself a break and set the project aside at least for a week but no longer than a month. Make an appointment on your calendar to revisit the project.
When the appointed time arrives, first simply read through what you have written and make note of how it makes you feel. Is it exciting, scary, dull, or a mixture of several feelings.
You might even want to make an appointment with a trusted friend and have that person hear you speak out loud the blueprint you have prepared.
Next, choose at least two of the areas and identify one or two specific steps you might take towards realization of the project in that area of your life. If you are sharing this work with a friend, you will discover that in identifying some first steps to someone else it will help you be accountable in taking those steps.
Whether the decisions are private or shared with another, identify a time by which you will have begun the steps and how you are going to evaluate your experience. For example, you decide you want to improve your relationship with five members of the congregation. The first step you are going to take is to find at least two opportunities in the next month to express either affirmation or thanks to each of them for something they have done or said. Or you might identify some area in which they have knowledge and ask them to have lunch and share about their experience.
EACH STEP IS PROGRESS
The idea is to take some specific and measurable steps that you can take that if they were successful might move you closer to your goal. Even steps that aren’t successful can generate new information which you can use to identify a new step.
Use your calendar to identify times to choose a new area and plan new steps. You might even identify a reward system that affirms progress. Perhaps you might indulge yourself by going to a movie, reading a fun book, or playing an extra game of golf.
